Fewer debates, weird times
Says the Democratic Party created a debate schedule "to maximize the opportunity for voters to see our candidates."
He really stepped in it
Says his much-discussed boots are "made in Wisconsin."
Yes, but he came up with it
"For the first time ever, we completely funded the critical needs waiting list so persons with unique abilities can get the help they need."
There are not-so-great factors, too
"We have completely turned our economy around."
A fake quote from a satirical news site
Says U.S. Rep. Ted Yoho said "African Americans should only be given three-fifths of a vote."
The list isn't perfect, but data backs him up
"91% of suspected terrorists who attempted to buy guns in America walked away with the weapon they wanted."
It's misleading to call this a cut
The only budget Ted Cruz "ever voted for in his time in the Senate is a budget that cut defense spending by more than Barack Obama proposes we cut it."
Ted Cruz offered a 'poison pill' amendment
Says Ted Cruz supports "legalizing people who are in this country illegally."
No calls for internment by Rubio
Says Marco Rubio said "we should be considering internment" of Muslims, and "maybe we should close down cafes and diners where Muslims gather and in fact compared them to the Nazi party."
Sorting out sorties
"Up until recently, 75 percent of all the sorties that left the base came back without dropping their ordnances, because there was such a concern about making sure that there were no civilian casualties."
We'll see you in 2017!
"Last year, I stopped an Obamacare bailout and saved taxpayers $2.5 billion."
These are not mere fish tales
"You go down to Miami and when it's flooding at high tide on a sunny day, fish are swimming through the middle of the streets."
Bush plan has few specifics, would focus on younger workers
Jeb Bush’s plan for Social Security is "disastrous for seniors and raises the retirement age to 70."
Well, NATO is an alliance
For NATO exercises, "we don’t have enough of our own hardware and equipment even for training purposes. So the Brits are spotting us choppers."
Umpqua allows concealed carry with a permit
Oregon’s Umpqua Community College "where the shooting occurred was a gun-free zone."
Number proposed by local agencies
The federal government is "making the decision, whether we like it or not, to send 425 refugees to our state" from Syria.
Five states ban open carry, but rules vary
"Forty-five states allow open carry of firearms."
Strategists admit concern, but Clintons have not
Says Hillary Clinton and the Democrats "admitted there’s one candidate who scares Hillary Clinton, and that’s Sen. Marco Rubio."
Ted Cruz was one of many opponents
"When Chuck Schumer and Marco Rubio tried to push amnesty, it was Ted Cruz who stopped them."
Every speaker has the right to remodel
"Marco Rubio spent $400K of your tax dollars remodeling offices, and building a members-only lounge."
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