Punchline from 1881
Says Michele Bachmann said "English was good enough for Jesus when he wrote the Bible."
Didn't vote for plan, which wasn't drafted by Obama
John Cornyn "voted twice in 2013 to back Obama’s amnesty plan."
Subset of a subset dating back about a decade
"25% of human trafficking victims are located in Texas."
Cherry-picking times and temperatures
"The Earth is not warming."
Not at issue in 2011 legislative session
Democratic Governors Association
"Texas Governor Rick Perry’s voter ID law is a blatant effort to defeat Wendy Davis by disenfranchising tens of thousands of women voters."
The White House had a live video feed of the Benghazi attacks as they occurred.
Also missing pots of ink
Says some Austin school district classrooms lack electrical outlets.
Or just go down the street
Says if Texas abortion measure passes, "someone living in El Paso would have to drive 550 miles each way to San Antonio for something as simple as cervical cancer screening."
"Abortion is the second-most conducted surgical procedure in this country."
Basically not at all
Says a "rape kit" can be used to "clean out" women, "basically like" dilation and curettage.
Repeating it doesn’t make it true
Says two-thirds of groups targeted for IRS scrutiny were not conservative.
Consensus: It's the opposite
"Science has not shown greenhouse gases to be a problem."
Check 'in' box
Says he has "yet to get a response" from Barack Obama to his August 2010 letter making border security requests.
Hard to believe ’cause never happened
Says the Democrats told the Catholic Church that they’ll use federal powers to shut down church charities and hospitals if the church doesn’t change its beliefs.
One man hoping
Says Chuck Hagel’s nomination as defense secretary "has been publicly celebrated by the Iranian government."
More like zero states
Says 11 states have more people on welfare than employed.
And every man must grow a Fidel Castro beard
Says the Obama administration plans to ban all weapons for U.S. citizens through international treaties.
Put it in the constitution, he once said
"I never supported" a state income tax for Texas.
Daffy and dilly
Hank Williams Jr.
Says Barack Obama is a Muslim.
Says Donna Campbell is pushing a 35 percent sales tax extending to medicine, groceries and real estate.
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