A Texas law says "that you can’t shoot bears out of the second floor of a window."
Jobbed on jobs?
The U.S. unemployment rate has "been massaged, it’s been doctored."
Texas House Speaker Joe Straus said, ‘I do not care if Wallace Hall swings from a tree.’
Austin mayoral candidate Steve Adler has "never been active in anything that has to do with City Hall."
Faith in facts
"Prayer rugs have recently been found on the Texas side of the border in the brush."
Patrick evidently helped put money into budget
Leticia Van de Putte
"In 2013," Dan Patrick voted "against funding to test the backlog of rape kits, allowing rapists to walk free."
Duncan aide disputes Homeland Security
"At least 10 ISIS fighters have been caught coming across the Mexican border in Texas" and there are "dozens more that did not get caught by the Border Patrol."
"Greg Abbott and his surrogates have referred to women who have been the victims of rape or incest as though somehow what they are confronting is a minor issue."
Agency's own website said otherwise
"To deprive" underprivileged children "of a meat-based protein during school lunch is most likely depriving them of their only source of protein for the day."
Late retreat, actually
"As chair of the Senate Education Committee, I led the charge to restore most of the education cuts from last session."
Suspicions aren't facts
Says Ted Cruz "was just bribed by the Kochs to introduce a bill that would give them and their allies America’s national forests, parks, and other public lands and open them for mining, drilling, fracking and logging."
A felony in Texas
Austin mayoral candidate "Mike Martinez takes corporate money."
Firing a blank
Says John Cornyn dodged the draft during the Vietnam War.
"We’ve had about 3,000 murders" in connection with lax border security.
Multiple flaws make a fire
More than 3,000 homicides were committed by "illegal aliens" over the past six years.
Few from"terrorist" countries or havens
Says of flood of non-Mexicans being apprehended at the border: "These are people that are coming from states like Syria that have substantial connections back to terrorist regimes and terrorist operations."
UPDATED: Fold spindle distort
Wendy Davis "was just doing a fund-raiser in Chicago with the international socialists organization."
UPDATED: Maybe in the '80s
Wendy Davis raised money for a U.S. House Democrat who is a member of a Democratic socialists group.
Dan Patrick "changed his name from Danny Goeb to hide from" his "debts."
Punchline from 1881
Says Michele Bachmann said "English was good enough for Jesus when he wrote the Bible."
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